Chemo: Day Five of Reflections

Felt good to sleep in a bit before my morning conference call. It was the only agenda item that I scheduled as I felt a real need to stay put and to allow the day to unfold as it was intended. The day was to be a steamy one with a likely T-storm later on, so I decided to walk to Fort Sewall in the morning with Tammie. We took the shadier route as I am not supposed to be in direct sun for too long while doing chemo. We arrived at this beautiful place and I sat with Tammie, breathing in not only the fresh air, but all that surrounds - the blue water, the myriad of sailboats, kayaks and motor boats. Many people walked by, commenting about how cute Tammie is - this is a daily happening - she is quite cute if I say so myself! We came back and I prepared my delicious lunch - colors of the rainbow included. I chose to work on purgeing files, organizing them, listening to the Detox webinar series that I signed up for. Later on, feeling tired, I decided to lay down for a bit, using my stones to create a body layout, while meditating. I've learned about body layouts during my healing process and find it to be fun, comforting, and it helps me to focus on the energetic and spiritual qualities that these stones possess. I place the stones on chakra points along the center of my body and begin breathing deeply. Within a few minutes, I am very relaxed and ready for some zzz's! I continued with my purgeing and filing while the storm blew in and wow, it was quite a storm. Tammie needed her Composure Chew in order to calm down. I learned about these natural supplements for dogs that contain l-theanine, a green tea extract that promotes relaxation and it does help. I am amazed that I no longer need to hide from T-storms, as I used to absolutely freak out. The time that really piques my memory was coming home with Ashley from pre-school. Mom was with Lindsay and when I arrived, I flew in the door from the rain and storm and Mom asked, "Where's Ashley?" I said, "She's coming", leaving her to come in on her own. I was so anxious that I could not even wait for her! Mom emphatically told me that I needed to get help for this. Agreed! Well, over the past two years, I've lost most fears - T-storms, being a passenger in a car, being asked to sing without practice, fear of not having enough money to survive. I consider it one of the gifts that cancer has brought into my life. I feel prepared to live life to the fullest - to take the ups and downs with grace. I am also surprised that the side effects have been quite minimal - fatigue and mild headaches - otherwise, I am grateful and excited to begin Chapter Two. Amen!