Sunday, March 18, 2018

Remodeling: What Does That Mean To You

While at barre class on Friday -  a challenging strength and conditioning workout -  I began to think about the word "remodel" and what it meant for me - way back when and now. Remodeling can also be about a body, bones, a home.

Remodeling for me is less about body image in the sense of how I look in the world, but more about how capable and strong I  feel within.  Important distinction for someone who grew up very heavy as a kid and who dieted a lot in the younger days!

I also thought of bones and how they are constantly remodeling - the process of being torn down during exercise in order to rebuild.  How amazing our bodies are, taking in fresh nutrients through this process in order to be a framework for our muscles and organs.

Lastly, I thought about homes.  For me in recent times, I have been lightening my load - what are the  essentials  that I need and what can I let go of?  And how does this process impact the environment with the materials that I choose to have in my home?

My new and evolved definition of remodeling is less about outer appearances and more about the depth  of the process within and extended into my environment.

How are you remodeling your life?  Be creative, bold and colorful!

In strength,

Sunday, March 11, 2018

We Are Here To Serve

As I pondered the theme from this week, I was struck by the similarities in "jargon", so to speak.  Yesterday, I attended a meeting to become a member of the Unity Spiritual  Living community and in this morning's reading from Awakened Leadership by Alan Shelton, executive coach, mentor and writer, he also spoke of service being the highest priority.

It is easy to go down the rabbit hole of uncertainty, self-doubt, not having or being enough - especially in light of current challenges across the board - in politics, healthcare, the environment.  What's the message here?

What does it mean to serve in today's world?  My definition has been evolving over these years because it meant something very different for most of my life.  Serving meant giving of yourself until you are sucked dry.  It correlated with a lack of self-worth and self-esteem and believe me, it is one of the hardest "programs of the mind" to break.  One of my longest and dearest friends often states, "You give of your surplus, not of your core!"

What I am seeing now is a paradigm shift in "awakening and awakened" leaders and new thought philosophers along with the ancients - Jesus and Buddha.  It is in giving that we receive, even multi-fold!  And it is not in a selfish manner - "I'll do for you if you do for me", but rather, what gifts do I have to share with others that they in turn need.

We are all born with talents, strengths, individual capacities and by nurturing these unique qualities, not only does the individual thrive, but the universe as a whole.

As I reflect upon my own journey, an ever-evolving process, I have served food to others for years - gathering people together socially, bringing the youth together to feed the poor, teaching others how to prepare healthier alternatives for their families and in recent years,  I have opened myself up in a broader sense through my own health crises and those of my family, feeding others spirit, strength and inspiration.

I recall during my years as a cantor in my church that I loved singing, So You Must Do, a beautiful Holy Thursday song about Jesus washing the feet of his friends.  It is less about the religious context and more about the common theme that can provide us with the nuggets of learning to live and love in this life.

I'm in a new environment all the way across the country still listening to the needs of others and am fine-tuning how I will serve now and in the future.

How will you serve?

Sunday, March 4, 2018

Coming Out of The Dark Night of My Soul: Cleansed, Refreshed and Redefining

I’ve been on a hiatus for a little over a month now from all social media communication.  I finally hit a necessary rock bottom, as one might say, or my version of it!

Those of you who have followed my blog since its creation at the Newton Wellesley Hospital in 2014, know that the journey for these past few years and actually for a lifetime (upcoming in my book, the personal story), has been anything but easy.  And you also know, that I view these challenges as opportunities and gifts to share with others – family, friends, clients and colleagues.
It is not that my life has been any worse or better than another – it is about finding the meaning in a situation and how one responds.  I learned at a very early age that in order to navigate my family life and life in general, I needed to take care of others, no matter what; I needed to solve problems using my intellect; I needed to avoid feelings AND I needed to KNOW what to do and how to respond in crisis.

It became me – my persona. Or is that me?  Hmm.
This Dark Night for me was about not knowing, especially what I want and deserve.  Those have been suppressed as they have for many of my generation.  How dare I want, deserve, need!!!  During this time, I often walked (thank God the weather following the fires and flood has been beautiful) or sat with Tammie in my beautiful little studio, crying, feeling aimless, not producing (as I would define it).

And then this morning, I awoke to the question, how does one define success?  In our culture, we often look at credentials earned, money made and savings in the bank or the fancy car, house or two, kids who graduated from a prestigious college.  Well, I can attest to the first, but the others have been out of my reach.  Why?

It is an interesting combination of answers that I am looking at.  When I look at cultural ideals, I can feel uncomfortable and squirm a bit, but as I fledge my wings, beginning to really tap into who I am, I know that the discomfort comes from my innate sense of being undeserving, topped with societal measures.

As I begin to know me, I want the quieting of my mind that allows peace to flow in, to embrace the unknown with comfort and ease and to truly know that All Is Well!

Peace be with you today and always,