Happy Birthday Dear Ashley

My youngest has now officially turned 21 – where did the time go!  It has been a birthday month for her, beginning with our trip to Kripalu to see Bruce Lipton.  This was life affirming for us both, as we travel this path of “off the beaten path” mind-body-spirit medicine together.  On her day, she met with a colleague of mine to have an astrological assessment done, another fascinating affirmation that there are no coincidences in life and that all in this universe is connected – the fun and not so fun, the easy and the not so easy!  For both of us, this provides a framework in which to understand ourselves in relation to the world.

Last evening, we had the annual family dinner prepared by Moi – I’m honored to have my girls and Scott, request a favorite meal and dessert on their special day.  Ashley requested crusted chicken, pesto, oven roast potato, tomato basil mozzarella and broccolini with garlic bread.  All gluten free and balanced in nutrients, of course!  It was a delightful dinner on the porch by candlelight and then she, Lindsay and Scott (Lindsay’s fiancé) were off to a rooftop setting and a dance club.  From the few photos and snapchats that I saw, the evening was delightful, fun and safe at the same time.

I am so proud of my family and their responsible, yet fun nature when it comes to drinking.  I’ve given them opportunities over the years to enjoy alcohol and while I’ve heard of some of the common experimental times that they have had, both have weathered the peer pressure pretty well.  It is not easy to be “normal” yet “not normal” at the same time and I use these terms to elaborate some fine points about how we view the various “forbidden fruits” in this country. 

When I am talking with young adults in my office or with my girls (unfortunately Lindsay being older got the stricter version of me!), I emphasize safety first, then begin to explore what is the person looking for – acceptance, anxiety reduction, to truly enjoy the experience with self-respect.  These are the most important aspects to entertain within ourselves and with our children.

I truly look forward to many more adult years with my girls and continue to marvel at each stage of development.

May you be blessed,

Julie

Happy Anniversary – An Interesting Perspective

Anniversary of what.  Of my descent into acute illness that brought me to Newton Wellesley Hospital, followed by surgery, chemotherapy and a whopping reaction to chemo.  That was two years ago.

I’ve always been sensitive to anniversaries of any kind – weddings, deaths, other happy or sad occasions, but this one marks a time of reflection of my emotional style, my way of coping with continued movement in a forward direction.

I’ve also recently learned more acutely that I intellectualize rather than feel.  Part of this I recognize being a Virgo!  The other part is how I lived in my family – one which looked ideal on the outside while there was a lot of chaos on the inside.  Being an only child, I leaned on my best friend and to this day, she brings me to my senses about what life was really like.  Intellectualizing and seeing both sides has certain benefits, but when it comes to processing, this style can inhibit moving through in order to come to a place of balance.

I am just feeling the reality of how crazy things were two years ago.  I not only needed to sell my home due to finances from being ill, but my Mom died, I moved to a place where I’ve always wanted to be, but needed to re-establish my practice.  Within three months, I was in the hospital, sick, out of work and now faced with figuring it out once again as a single parent.

My coping style was to re-vamp my website, to do yoga every day in the hospital, to begin my blog, to write for the newspaper, to learn how to use skype and forge ahead.  While this has been wonderful in so many ways, I did not allow myself time to feel sad, mad and afraid.  Nope, not my style!

What is interesting is that I am a solid support for my family, friends and clients, allowing them to feel held and heard in my presence.  I now realize that I also need this and sometimes do not allow it into my life for fear of being “weak”.  I had been feeling apprehensive about this two year anniversary, reliving the moments leading up to it, but today, I feel that I have broken the chains that bound me.  I am moving ahead in a more balanced fashion and it feels so good!

May you always learn about who you are with curiosity and self-love.

Julie