Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Right On"The Universe"

"For you, Julie, it's never really been all about the cottage at the beach, a multimillion dollar bank account, or the adoration of fans, has it?
Okay, sure, you could roll with it...
Instead, it's been about having a life that allows for the expression of your creativity and exchanging your rare and special gifts with the world. To be yourself, no matter the cost, laughing often, and knowing to your core the meaning of love, friendship, and hot chocolate on a freezing cold night.
Just wanted you to know that I know this about you. And I think it's just great how you're imagining the latter when you visualize these days. Especially the laughter and love.
Pretty much got you pegged, huh? 
   The Universe"

As I read this morning's reflection, it could not be more right on or timely - of course, those of us in "this world" recognize that there are no coincidences, only connecting dots if we choose to see them!

I had planned on writing yesterday in response to my usual Sunday blog about how I spent much of Sunday because it was not only revealing, but so healing as I continue my process and share with you.

I did call my husband (hate using the word ex), leaving a lengthy and love-filled message, I spoke with my daughter and son-in-law and then called them back to sing Eva Cassidy's version of Over The Rainbow. I sang with my dear friend Jamie, the Iz version for their recessional song at the wedding last year and this song has a long history in our family.  I called my Dad and spoke with my cousin, Patti. We talked about how similar our paths in life have been.  I felt so connected!

OK, enough suspense - I spent hours singing, playing my guitar and just belting out music and it felt wonderful!  Simultaneously, I was also aware of the programs running in the back of my head - the chatter of the sub-conscious.  "Should you indulge yourself on un-productive activities, hurry up, what have you accomplished, how dare you waste time - but I just focused on breathing and of course, when singing, you gotta breathe or else!

This was a lightening bolt of healing data and the ahha is quite profound.  Now to keep it rolling.  This is where the discipline of practicing that which we know we need to do for ourselves comes into play!

May you be touched and inspired to find your self-expression in this world.
Over the rainbow,

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Stuck In The Throat

As I am reading this chapter in Navigating Life With An Open Heart, I stop to ponder the words of feeling stuck in the throat.  A flood of images come to me:  forbidden to speak up “or else”-little child; do I lie because my parents told me to or do I do what my gut tells me-3rd grade; do I tell Dad how humiliated I feel when he chaperones dances in my 7-8th grades and cuts in dancing with me while I am trying to be with my friends-he thinks it is funny and I want to explode, but must maintain composure; how do I save my life when Dad is holding me by the collar saying he will kill me-11th grade;  how do I speak up in court when my estranged husband is staring me down with his cohort of friends telling lies about me and threatening to make it financially impossible to survive, to take our daughter away, to ruin my reputation at work and in life-age 31.

I’m getting it now – my body feels tight, I want to burst into tears and I am thinking, I want to sing my songs.  I want to share this spiritual connection with others, while soothing my own hurt.  It passes and I am brought to this symbolic day – my anniversary to my first husband-so talented, yet so troubled from his own experiences; it is the day when I miscarried my twins at 6 ½ months-they are with me in spirit and I believe have been given to me as Lindsay and Ashley; it is the anniversary of Lindsay and Scott’s first year of marriage.  How ironic they did not know the other events, but for me, it closes a circle of love.  I will reach out to my husband today as I have over these years, with an intention to heal the hurts between us in this life, always hoping to make it ok.  I do not blame him because I see now with an Open Heart, that my inability to “speak up”, led to confusion and misunderstanding.  

I also know that this is part of my stuff :
I was the glue that kept Mom and Dad together and wedge that kept them apart, I am the one who bridges two worlds in my work life, I am the one who tries to create peace when tension is high, I am the one who hosts for all-poor, friends, family.  Yet, is this truly me or just an aspect desperately seeking connection?

Ah, the continued exploration. And, it is all perfect and is all beautiful.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

From Mount to Mount

As I visited Meditation Mount yesterday with a dear friend, I felt the presence and energy of Graymoor, a beautiful mountain in Garrison, NY, nestled in the Hudson River Valley.  I grew up visiting Graymoor as a child with my folks, as my uncle had joined the order but had to leave due to health problems.  The friars at that time, worked in the community, tended the fields, growing food to feed the poor and my uncle's congenital heart condition disallowed labor of this nature.

As a teen, I was less enthralled by visiting a religious place, but came back around during college days while studying philosophy.  As I have mentioned before, what has always resonated with me is Fr Paul's vision when he founded the order - "that all may be one".  To this day, my path is about connecting people, helping us recognize that there are many paths to the same truth - love is the only way and peace and understanding assist in finding this not only in ourselves, but as we peer out through our lenses into the world at large.

Meditation Mount has the same peace pole, which I did not know until looking at an updated photo of Graymoor this morning.  Also, both places opened their missions within the same year - 1970-1971. How ironic that the energy and influence cross from sea to sea, and that I see and feel the synchronicity of this very energy.  There is beauty and grandeur in observing the mountains and valleys, and a gentle reminder that while we are so small in comparison to these natural wonders, we influence every aspect of their continued existence and vice versa.

My message today is about seeing the beauty in the nature that surrounds us, to acknowledge the awesomeness within ourselves and others and to ponder why you are where you are in this place and time.  For it is through this connection that we will truly learn to serve.


Sunday, August 13, 2017

Remembering Mom With Healthy Fudge!

Tomorrow is Mom's birthday and I have been aware for the past week - remembering her last birthday in the hospital. I asked what she wanted, as she was never a big cake person and her response was lemon meringue pie, so there you have it, I made her pie from scratch and she was so happy.

As I was talking with Ashley this week, we recalled how much of a fashion eye she had.  She was an amazing seamstress, making all of my first day of school dresses, coats, fancy pants etc.  She had an eye for color, jewelry and accessories.

What was most striking about Mom however, was how much she cared about people - sending cards, letters, making calls to say hello.  It is something that I have continued in my life and have passed it down to the girls.  In this day and age of texting and computer cards, somehow people remark about the old fashioned letter or card, feeling special.

As I went through my day today, I felt emotional - happy thoughts, some tears, really feeling the tug of missing her.  Ironically, I was preparing food for a meeting that I am hosting this week and the dessert that I decided to make was the healthy fudge from my Sweets and Treats cookbook.  Reason being is that one of the staff cannot have eggs, so it ruled out many of the recipes or I would be using flaxseeds or some other substitute.

This fudge recipe came from my Mom's collection and when I would make it as a teen - started cooking by 5th grade - Mom and I would eat the entire batch!  To this day, the recipe, even in its cleaned up version, is to die for.  I smiled as I rolled them and placed a walnut 1/2 on each for decoration.

Tomorrow will be a celebration of her life - one that I will cherish for the rest of mine.

I love you Mom

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Spiritual Psychology, Epigenetics, You and Me

I am landing back to earth from an incredible weekend, assisting at the genetics conference in San Diego, where I am learning how to apply the biochemistry that I learned "a thousand years ago" with cutting edge epi-genetics interpretation.  The science of epi-genetics takes the deterministic view of genes and applies how environment, chemicals, attitudes and beliefs affect whether or not the genes will express themselves in a positive or negative manner.

Coupled with the very long drive to and fro on the freeway, I popped in Bruce Lipton and Steve Bhaerman to listen to Spontaneus Evolution, a wonderful book bringing together biology, history and evolution.  For me, the combination of learning from these disciplines creates a framework that truly resonates with my personal experience and that which I share passionately with my friends, colleagues and clients.

While science has created some predictability over the years, there are "miracles", unexplained circumstances that do arise frequently enough and now there are ways to view, measure and understand them more. This brings up an important point to remember - science is only as good as the technology at the time.  Be careful of casting something or someone off as "not possible" or "crazy" just because behaviors or expressions (illness etc) cannot be measured!

I feel increasingly hopeful about unlocking the mysteries of health and well-being, not only for myself (a complex case, no doubt!), but for the many people that I come in contact with.  There is no doubt that I attract outliars in the medical system, as well as in my life, for I get it, as a humble human being and a practitioner, all in one.

Stay tuned!