As the days of Holy week arrived, I began by revisiting my church and community for over 20 years, singing with my group for one of the most moving masses for me - Palm Sunday - which depicts the sequence of events leading up to Jesus' death. It has always been a meaningful week for me, but as these past few years have unfolded, the meaning has grown in depth and breadth - encompassing less religiosity and more communal thinking about what this time of year symbolizes and what "christ energy" means for me.
It's almost like being in a sci-fi movie. During the Palm Sunday mass, I am brought back to being with Jesus, feeling his emotional pain, feeling misunderstood, teased and bullied, chastised for speaking out about ways of being that did not make sense to those "in control". We then move into other energies of the week - the vernal equinox and a full moon - powerful influences on emotions and behaviors. Spring is a time of re-birth, coming into the light. It is so interesting to look at other cultures and spiritual traditions and basically all are echoing the same thing - bringing light into the world. I talk about the rising and falling of emotions with my clients during this week - some more challenged than others with this increasing energy of Spring.
In the christian tradition, Easter marks the time when the resurrection of Jesus occurred and we all have this opportunity to be re-born, to bring forth our fruits, to awaken from the dark of winter. There is a shift that many of us experience, feeling a bit more aware of the increasing energy around us, yet maybe not quite there in our own energy. For me, it takes a few weeks to adjust even to the one hour time change! I also had a migraine for much of the week - not uncommon with these subtle shifts and the insomnia that accompanies the full moon. I have become so aware of these energetic influences and how they impact my body, and I continue to search for ways to soften the bodily experience of these shifts.
I spent a wonderful day with my family, sharing in prayer, a wonderful meal and to start the day, Lindsay and I went to yoga - a weekly treat to listen to Jaishree and Kalanadi, as they sing for sivasana. Jaishree so nicely acknowledged all the traditions that celebrate this time of year and the Easter tradition of resurrection. It felt complete for me - unifying all. After all, that is what life is about!
Happy Easter and Namaste,
Julie
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Sunday, March 20, 2016
Spring Cleaning - Oh The Memories
As the Spring approaches, I begin to look at my schedule to block a few days for washing walls, cleaning curtains and oiling the furniture. It's a real love-hate feeling - thinking of the hours spent - but oh, the outcome is so rewarding - a clean and orderly environment, my living space, a sacred space!
When I heard that Ashley would be coming home 1-2 weeks earlier, I decided to get right on this and to be prepared for this exciting time. Somehow, the angst felt less this year. I marked the days, went to the store to pick up the "Olde English" lemon oil, that Mom always used and just got on it. Starting in Ashley's room, I cranked up Jason Mraz tunes - a musician that she turned me onto. As I oiled her bookcase, I thought about Babasia, her grandmmother who was so special in our lives. I then moved onto the little black rocking chair that my Grampy gave to me when I was little. I used to sit on his lap and he called me "the winner". I loved my Grampy - he was so kind and gentle. The last piece of furniture was Mom's sewing machine that she gave to Ashley. Mom was an amazing seamstress, making many of my clothes and coats, my wedding dress and the girls's christening gowns. Ashley took up the hobby and often made her own first and last day of school dresses, with a more recent hobby of making rice filled turtles that are used a warm packs for sore muscles. I left that room being brought back to happy memories and felt a strong connection with Mom. After all, I assisted her with this task as a young girl and adolescent.
The day passed rather quickly and I enjoyed the process - not something I could have said as much in the past. Later on as I talked with Lindsay on the phone, she remarked how she had already started her own Spring cleaning. What a tradition, now passed onto my own girls.
Now is the time to enjoy the longer days, the waking energy and rebirth that Spring brings.
Plant your own seeds of tradition and of rebirth.
With renewed spirit,
Julie
When I heard that Ashley would be coming home 1-2 weeks earlier, I decided to get right on this and to be prepared for this exciting time. Somehow, the angst felt less this year. I marked the days, went to the store to pick up the "Olde English" lemon oil, that Mom always used and just got on it. Starting in Ashley's room, I cranked up Jason Mraz tunes - a musician that she turned me onto. As I oiled her bookcase, I thought about Babasia, her grandmmother who was so special in our lives. I then moved onto the little black rocking chair that my Grampy gave to me when I was little. I used to sit on his lap and he called me "the winner". I loved my Grampy - he was so kind and gentle. The last piece of furniture was Mom's sewing machine that she gave to Ashley. Mom was an amazing seamstress, making many of my clothes and coats, my wedding dress and the girls's christening gowns. Ashley took up the hobby and often made her own first and last day of school dresses, with a more recent hobby of making rice filled turtles that are used a warm packs for sore muscles. I left that room being brought back to happy memories and felt a strong connection with Mom. After all, I assisted her with this task as a young girl and adolescent.
The day passed rather quickly and I enjoyed the process - not something I could have said as much in the past. Later on as I talked with Lindsay on the phone, she remarked how she had already started her own Spring cleaning. What a tradition, now passed onto my own girls.
Now is the time to enjoy the longer days, the waking energy and rebirth that Spring brings.
Plant your own seeds of tradition and of rebirth.
With renewed spirit,
Julie
Monday, March 14, 2016
Of Like Minds and Varied Gifts
What an array of talents sat with me on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, sharing in a like-minded concept with such delectable assortment of ideas and supportive advice. We sat and had food from my Feel Great Look Great series - part of what will be served in this beautiful space. For years, I have entertained the idea of providing retreat services where people can gather, stay, learn and be immersed into a world of total healing. The thought began while I was still in undergraduate school studying nutrition and psychology, while also having to learn the A to Z's of food preparation, safety and ambiance. I dreamed of being in Marblehead offering these services.
Now fast forward 35 plus years and here I sat with with friends and colleagues, both old and new, talking about how to manifest this dream into a reality. It was an engaging and interesting conversation because what brought us together was the desire to offer healing, rest and beauty in this beautiful ocean town, yet each has expertise in different disciplines - finance, non-profit startup, mental health, marketing, coaching, music - all areas that need addressing in order to create a viable business.
As the ideas rolled, my brain swelled with not only information, but a twinge of "Oh my God" what, how, can I - and quickly one of my dear friends said, "We're gonna process this after the meeting". I felt a sigh of relief and yet also acknowledged that my degree of what, how and can I, has dampened so much over these past few years because I "work on my stuff" all the time. Not only do I preach seeing oneself as healthy, healed, whole, doing what one loves and being where one wants to be, BUT, I remind myself of this daily and often multiple times daily when the old tapes of not being good enough, not knowing enough, not deserving to have, come into my conscious awareness.
These are such common themes and they erode the greatness that we all possess, keeping us humans powerless instead of powerful. However, there was great power in my living room - a common focus, all contributing - and for this, I am grateful.
To be continued . . .
Now fast forward 35 plus years and here I sat with with friends and colleagues, both old and new, talking about how to manifest this dream into a reality. It was an engaging and interesting conversation because what brought us together was the desire to offer healing, rest and beauty in this beautiful ocean town, yet each has expertise in different disciplines - finance, non-profit startup, mental health, marketing, coaching, music - all areas that need addressing in order to create a viable business.
As the ideas rolled, my brain swelled with not only information, but a twinge of "Oh my God" what, how, can I - and quickly one of my dear friends said, "We're gonna process this after the meeting". I felt a sigh of relief and yet also acknowledged that my degree of what, how and can I, has dampened so much over these past few years because I "work on my stuff" all the time. Not only do I preach seeing oneself as healthy, healed, whole, doing what one loves and being where one wants to be, BUT, I remind myself of this daily and often multiple times daily when the old tapes of not being good enough, not knowing enough, not deserving to have, come into my conscious awareness.
These are such common themes and they erode the greatness that we all possess, keeping us humans powerless instead of powerful. However, there was great power in my living room - a common focus, all contributing - and for this, I am grateful.
To be continued . . .
Sunday, March 6, 2016
Softening
What thoughts come to mind when you hear the word softening? Weakness? Giving in? Or rather being open to? Less rigid?
For me, this word kept coming into my conscious awareness while in yoga, while talking with my Dad, while listening to my clients. In yoga class, I often start out very tight and in a good deal of bodily discomfort. I usually try to arrive 10-15 minutes early in order to lay on the blocks in order to open the chest and diaphragm area. This begins my practice in a receptive mode, allowing me to soften into the positions during my hour class. I really focused on the word and allowed it to gently command and guide my body as it became less rigid.
The theme continued as I entertained a new way of looking at my Dad's living situation. He is 1 1/2-2 hours away from me, remains very independent, but is having challenges with his memory. I accompany him on his doctor visits and during this past visit, we also met with the bank, the pharmacy and went to the supermarket in order for me to show him some healthier versions of frozen dinners. Dad has never been a cook and tends to be a meat and potatoes guy, along with his PB&J sandwiches. Of course, there are plenty of cookies and candy - very much the nutritionist's nightmare! At each spot along the way, people recognized him, talked and joked with him and told me how much they enjoy seeing my Dad.
I left this visit with a very different perspective than I have held for the past few years. While he has been saying that he will get the house ready to go on the market and move closer to me, when confronted, he opts out. What I realized in my day with him is that I cannot control my Dad's future, even if with good intent. Of course, I am concerned about safety, medical and all that goes along with having an elderly parent, but I also want my Dad to be in surroundings that are familiar and comfortable for him. This shift was a definite softening of my thought process and it has felt good all week.
In the third situation with regard to clients, I observed how much I am on top of everything, researching, seeking solutions, wanting to provide healing in cases that seem so challenging. I can easily lose sight that I am the messenger, but am not in control of the outcome, and when this happens, I take far too much responsibility for others - a lifelong theme. I kept coming back to this concept of softening and was able to shift to a place of allowing and sharing more. This, too, felt good.
After all, isn't it about feeling good? When we feel good, positive energy radiates into the world. I leave you with this thought for the week - what word will keep you engaged in your journey?
With peace and softness,
Julie
For me, this word kept coming into my conscious awareness while in yoga, while talking with my Dad, while listening to my clients. In yoga class, I often start out very tight and in a good deal of bodily discomfort. I usually try to arrive 10-15 minutes early in order to lay on the blocks in order to open the chest and diaphragm area. This begins my practice in a receptive mode, allowing me to soften into the positions during my hour class. I really focused on the word and allowed it to gently command and guide my body as it became less rigid.
The theme continued as I entertained a new way of looking at my Dad's living situation. He is 1 1/2-2 hours away from me, remains very independent, but is having challenges with his memory. I accompany him on his doctor visits and during this past visit, we also met with the bank, the pharmacy and went to the supermarket in order for me to show him some healthier versions of frozen dinners. Dad has never been a cook and tends to be a meat and potatoes guy, along with his PB&J sandwiches. Of course, there are plenty of cookies and candy - very much the nutritionist's nightmare! At each spot along the way, people recognized him, talked and joked with him and told me how much they enjoy seeing my Dad.
I left this visit with a very different perspective than I have held for the past few years. While he has been saying that he will get the house ready to go on the market and move closer to me, when confronted, he opts out. What I realized in my day with him is that I cannot control my Dad's future, even if with good intent. Of course, I am concerned about safety, medical and all that goes along with having an elderly parent, but I also want my Dad to be in surroundings that are familiar and comfortable for him. This shift was a definite softening of my thought process and it has felt good all week.
In the third situation with regard to clients, I observed how much I am on top of everything, researching, seeking solutions, wanting to provide healing in cases that seem so challenging. I can easily lose sight that I am the messenger, but am not in control of the outcome, and when this happens, I take far too much responsibility for others - a lifelong theme. I kept coming back to this concept of softening and was able to shift to a place of allowing and sharing more. This, too, felt good.
After all, isn't it about feeling good? When we feel good, positive energy radiates into the world. I leave you with this thought for the week - what word will keep you engaged in your journey?
With peace and softness,
Julie
Monday, February 29, 2016
The Jog
I spent a weekend chanting, learning more about Indian philosophy and how central music and chanting has been in raising one's awareness, as well as becoming focused on God or as some refer, the Divine. I also did a track on Positive Psychology and was immersed into more yoga, exploring the deep crevices of tension and discomfort, having an attitude of inquiry that goes beyond the usual practice.
As I contemplated, I became even more aware of how flooding thoughts continually enter my mind, yet I was able to remain the outside observer and just notice. This was particularly noticeable when "trying" to sing chants that I've never heard, language that I don't really speak except at a few kirtans and also thirsting to know what I am singing and its significance.
Well after some struggle and disenchantment, a lightbulb went off. This is all conditioning. Being a singer for much of my life, I reach for perfection - the notes, the lyrics, the embodiment of spiritual song - and while this is a gift that I offer to myself and others, there has always been that critical voice in the back of my head, the yapper, that would rob the spontaneity and joy from being one with song.
My girls had observed this in me long ago, often saying, "Mom, you take responsibility for everyone and everything and make even your hobbies a job". Wow, how this came back in a flash and in that moment, I chose to let go and just sing, also taking in the drums and bells and the harmonium. I sang loud while not having perfect notes or words, but it felt good. And, there was a room of likely 200 people, all connected in sung prayer.
Later during our session, there was Q&A and this topic came up for another catholic, who also wanted to know about interpretation. The explanation was about repetition with intention, getting lost in both of these concepts, and how this can lead to meditation/focus.
While my journey is still in very beginning stages, the thirst for more continues.
This time was not only about music and yoga, but about re-setting old, entrained patterns, freeing myself of the dark shadows of disease. I remain on the path to wellness, having sub-optimal labs and physical discomfort, YET, I am so healthy in so many ways. I decided to begin a tradition that left when I became ill in 2012, being unable to get up and jog at 6am as I had for years. Today, I jogged (not at 6am-think those days may be past!) for 11 minutes without stopping, feeling the 2 minute "Oh my God how will I finish" into "this is not so bad", and by the time I arrived back home, I felt so accomplished and well on my way.
The body is an amazing vehicle - use it with care!
Well-greased,
Julie
As I contemplated, I became even more aware of how flooding thoughts continually enter my mind, yet I was able to remain the outside observer and just notice. This was particularly noticeable when "trying" to sing chants that I've never heard, language that I don't really speak except at a few kirtans and also thirsting to know what I am singing and its significance.
Well after some struggle and disenchantment, a lightbulb went off. This is all conditioning. Being a singer for much of my life, I reach for perfection - the notes, the lyrics, the embodiment of spiritual song - and while this is a gift that I offer to myself and others, there has always been that critical voice in the back of my head, the yapper, that would rob the spontaneity and joy from being one with song.
My girls had observed this in me long ago, often saying, "Mom, you take responsibility for everyone and everything and make even your hobbies a job". Wow, how this came back in a flash and in that moment, I chose to let go and just sing, also taking in the drums and bells and the harmonium. I sang loud while not having perfect notes or words, but it felt good. And, there was a room of likely 200 people, all connected in sung prayer.
Later during our session, there was Q&A and this topic came up for another catholic, who also wanted to know about interpretation. The explanation was about repetition with intention, getting lost in both of these concepts, and how this can lead to meditation/focus.
While my journey is still in very beginning stages, the thirst for more continues.
This time was not only about music and yoga, but about re-setting old, entrained patterns, freeing myself of the dark shadows of disease. I remain on the path to wellness, having sub-optimal labs and physical discomfort, YET, I am so healthy in so many ways. I decided to begin a tradition that left when I became ill in 2012, being unable to get up and jog at 6am as I had for years. Today, I jogged (not at 6am-think those days may be past!) for 11 minutes without stopping, feeling the 2 minute "Oh my God how will I finish" into "this is not so bad", and by the time I arrived back home, I felt so accomplished and well on my way.
The body is an amazing vehicle - use it with care!
Well-greased,
Julie
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Sacred In Many Languages
As I listened to the homily at mass last evening, I was drawn to the focus on forgiveness - of self, of others and looking at ways to accomplish this sometimes seemingly hard task. Softening of the heart, looking up to Jesus as a guide. It was a nice reflection to ponder.
This morning, while at yoga - I often refer to my Sunday tradition as my spiritual time at "Saint Yoga Loft", as this has become yet another tradition to tap into the unseen world of God and spirit. My mantra today was "ecstasy". What struck me today was that the language that I grew up with - the catholic tradition - is so similar to what I listen to from my amazing instructors in yoga.
While different, it is all the same and I personally find peace and contentment when I am able to tie concepts together. I am so drawn to philosophy and love bringing people from different perspectives together. It feels like a calling for me - something that I am supposed to be doing in this life,along with my continued passion for other healing arts as well.
Later today, while driving to a workshop on shiatsu massage, I listened to my contemporary spiritual CDs. I had been unable to do this for many months due to a broken CD player in my car, but it felt so good to belt out the music that I have cantored for years in church. And as I sang the words, I also listened carefully and again, saw the connections between the sanskrit chant earlier in the day and the lovely melodies that I have sung over and over again. I smiled and felt a warmth, an opening in not only my throat chakra, but in my heart as well. The throat chakra is about finding and using one's voice and the heart, well, most of us know, is all about love and being open.
I truly felt the "ecstasy" from my mantra this morning. I feel blessed knowing that many languages, just as many paths, all lead to one - the sacred.
This morning, while at yoga - I often refer to my Sunday tradition as my spiritual time at "Saint Yoga Loft", as this has become yet another tradition to tap into the unseen world of God and spirit. My mantra today was "ecstasy". What struck me today was that the language that I grew up with - the catholic tradition - is so similar to what I listen to from my amazing instructors in yoga.
While different, it is all the same and I personally find peace and contentment when I am able to tie concepts together. I am so drawn to philosophy and love bringing people from different perspectives together. It feels like a calling for me - something that I am supposed to be doing in this life,along with my continued passion for other healing arts as well.
Later today, while driving to a workshop on shiatsu massage, I listened to my contemporary spiritual CDs. I had been unable to do this for many months due to a broken CD player in my car, but it felt so good to belt out the music that I have cantored for years in church. And as I sang the words, I also listened carefully and again, saw the connections between the sanskrit chant earlier in the day and the lovely melodies that I have sung over and over again. I smiled and felt a warmth, an opening in not only my throat chakra, but in my heart as well. The throat chakra is about finding and using one's voice and the heart, well, most of us know, is all about love and being open.
I truly felt the "ecstasy" from my mantra this morning. I feel blessed knowing that many languages, just as many paths, all lead to one - the sacred.
Sunday, February 14, 2016
Valentines Reflections
Happy Valentines - at least that's how I am feeling upon the ending of my day. But leading up to it, there was a little tug and awareness of the hype and societal pressure that goes into being with someone and if you're not, what a loss.
I had my moment last night as I thought about my relationships that just didn't go as I had hoped and dreamed. Sadness took over for just a bit and then I realized how much I have learned, how much I have grown and how much more I know about who I am and what I want and who I want to be with. Wow - now that is a mouthful!
What I really gleaned from these few sad moments was how I learned as a young child that it was not okay to be pampered, not okay to be given to and that what was expected was to take care of others and to make others happy. As children, our beliefs are ingrained by the age of 7. How many learned this same lesson - many of us! And it can take a lifetime or much of it, to undo these beliefs, recognizing that it truly is okay to want reciprocity in love. What I also realized is that is was also a bind for my partners because given my belief system, it would hard for anyone to know how to give to me! My husbands truly have and had beautiful qualities and talents - it just wasn't meant to last a lifetime and tragically, my second husband died after suffering for over three years.
As I've said so many times before, this is not about name and blame, but is truly about choosing to put the history where it belongs - in the past - and to choose the life that YOU want - to thrive and not just survive.
I had learned the beauty of giving to others and I gain great joy in seeing the twinkle in one's eyes, the shear happiness of giving a romantic or just loving surprise, but what I had not learned was how to give this to myself.
Last evening, I lit my beautiful himilayan salt candle, made my tea, watched a few movies and slept in an extra hour this morning. I went to my usual yoga class on Sunday. I call this class, St Yoga Loft, as I truly gain my spiritual uplift from Jaishree's class, especially when she and her husband sing. I went to Whole Foods to purchase a yummy lunch just because and I baked brownies for my upcoming television spot on the local news announcing my cookbook. I sang and played guitar and boy does my Martin sound heavenly since being fixed and ready for musical engagements.
I feel loved, satisfied and thank my past for showing me the way to my present. May you feel loved too!
I had my moment last night as I thought about my relationships that just didn't go as I had hoped and dreamed. Sadness took over for just a bit and then I realized how much I have learned, how much I have grown and how much more I know about who I am and what I want and who I want to be with. Wow - now that is a mouthful!
What I really gleaned from these few sad moments was how I learned as a young child that it was not okay to be pampered, not okay to be given to and that what was expected was to take care of others and to make others happy. As children, our beliefs are ingrained by the age of 7. How many learned this same lesson - many of us! And it can take a lifetime or much of it, to undo these beliefs, recognizing that it truly is okay to want reciprocity in love. What I also realized is that is was also a bind for my partners because given my belief system, it would hard for anyone to know how to give to me! My husbands truly have and had beautiful qualities and talents - it just wasn't meant to last a lifetime and tragically, my second husband died after suffering for over three years.
As I've said so many times before, this is not about name and blame, but is truly about choosing to put the history where it belongs - in the past - and to choose the life that YOU want - to thrive and not just survive.
I had learned the beauty of giving to others and I gain great joy in seeing the twinkle in one's eyes, the shear happiness of giving a romantic or just loving surprise, but what I had not learned was how to give this to myself.
Last evening, I lit my beautiful himilayan salt candle, made my tea, watched a few movies and slept in an extra hour this morning. I went to my usual yoga class on Sunday. I call this class, St Yoga Loft, as I truly gain my spiritual uplift from Jaishree's class, especially when she and her husband sing. I went to Whole Foods to purchase a yummy lunch just because and I baked brownies for my upcoming television spot on the local news announcing my cookbook. I sang and played guitar and boy does my Martin sound heavenly since being fixed and ready for musical engagements.
I feel loved, satisfied and thank my past for showing me the way to my present. May you feel loved too!
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