As the week unfolded, I continued to listen to the inner voice, observe, and respond with surrender, not a giving up. I've not felt well much of the time since arriving, yet have immersed myself into life, loving the new adventures. That is not to say that discouragement does creep in, but instead of muscling my way through, I am practicing allowing rest, acknowledging that this is now and not forever.
My labs have declined once again and I was not surprised because the symptoms are there, yet, I keep my eye on being grateful for what I do have - my wonderful family and friends, my new friends and colleagues, my beautiful surroundings with mountains, sunshine and blue sky, and the ability to engage in participating and listening to music.
I was keenly aware of two events in particular that brought me to a place of peace, calm and renewed hopefulness, knowing that healing occurs in many ways and not according to my expected timeline. I had just received my labs before leaving for kirtan (a gathering of the traditional indian spiritual chanting) and I was already feeling poorly, so tearfully, I still chose to attend. As we sang and prayed, my sadness lifted and by the end, I was filled with joy, being back in a place of gratitude. This carried me a few days.
Later in the week, I spoke with my cousin and again, felt the sadness as I shared my medical circumstances, but soon was able to come back to this place of not letting the challenges in life become my theme. Interestingly, my landlady told me to come to a service at her church today, so I decided to try it out and what an experience!
First of all, the music was amazing and everyone sang and clapped, being immersed in prayer. The pastor was not only charismatic, but wove scripture into current experience. He talked about the need to have fun in life, to seek joy. This hit a chord with me because fun, joy and doing things just because, was not much of my growing up experience. Duty, service and work, were considered to be more important. It is finding the balance, which is part of my reason for moving here. And I truly believe as I continue to practice this, I will notice healing exponentially.
As he continued, the words Ask, Seek and Knock along with persistence, were emphasized and these are truly important. How can one receive without asking?
How can one know what he/she needs without seeking?
And how can God or any person respond without being directly addressed?
I left the service feeling full of life and gratitude and upon arriving home to read an article by Dr Daniel Amen, world reknowned psychiatrist, he uttered many of the same words.
My wish for you is to always remain in gratitude, to seek joy and never stop asking for what you need.
Love
Julie
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