Oh What A Week: Lessons In One Day At A Time

It started with car maintenance – the usual upkeep and some areas needing to be fixed.  Brought work, kept busy for 4 hours, feeling confident that I’d be ready for a long round trip to NJ, NY and back home next week. 

Two days later, tire issue unresolved  and now my cell phone was not working properly.  Ugh, back to the dealership, only to find that they could not take care of the problem at that time – had to inconvenience clients, rearrange meetings etc

Oh, then the bank misappropriated charges and deposits into the wrong accounts, resulting in a negative balance.  Luckily, their customer service is helpful.  Now back to the car and the phone. I felt like a juggler – not an uncommon place for me to reside.

In the process of feeling overwhelmed by this added stress, I was also really paying attention to meditation every night, separating my thoughts and feelings from who I am and the real reality.  Not an easy feat, but I kept bringing myself back to the fact that I am OK, I am safe, and this will pass.

Next day, ready to head out to NJ with my Dad – this was to be his birthday surprise along with a business aspect for me.  We were going to visit Fr. Steve, a lifelong friend, mentor and someone who is quite frail and ill in the nursing home.  Oh, how I want to see him at least once more before he leaves the earthly plane.

I’ve talked about Fr. Steve and Graymoor in past blogs, but a brief review is in order.  Fr. Steve is a member of the Franciscan Friars of the Atonement, an order whose mission is “that all may be one”, bringing people of all faith communities together for the common good.  This mission aligns with my initiative to create the retreat center in Marblehead.  Part of my visit was to meet with the director in order to discuss potential collaboration.

Dad and I were on the road at 6:30 and stopped about 1 ½ hours out on Mass Pike.  When arriving back to the car, it was dead!  Calmly, I called AAA, got a jump, but was told that the car could die at any point along the trip.  Of course, the decision was to head back to the dealership for the 4^th time in a week.  I called ahead to apprise them of the situation.  The service manager felt so badly and they completed this service, providing a new battery, as it may have had a short (somewhat of an unknown reason for the malfunction) and replaced my tire for free.

I continued to feel calm (hey, the meditations are working!), grateful to have some time with Dad and also to recognize that while this week was stressful for sure, we were safe and merely inconvenienced.  I took Dad to Legal’s for his favorite clam chowder and in usual demeanor, he joked with the waiter and manager.  She enjoyed his banter and gave him a large bowl to go for his birthday.

All is well in the world and what really brought it to a place of completion was my taking time to journal last night.  I wrote freely without censoring my writing and man, it was a few pages of complaints, feelings of stress and anxiety, but by the end, I felt free.  I knew earlier in the week that I needed this catharsis, but felt too busy to stop and pay attention.  Luckily, I caught myself and am back on track.

May you find peace in the chaos of life,

Julie

A Thought Is Just A Thought

As the week unveiled its meaning in my life, I once again saw the common threads in many clients and in the continual work that I do in my own developmental process.

Thoughts become things - a powerful saying from the daily sayings that are presented to me in my email, BUT, thoughts are not who we are.  They can shape the trajectory that life is taking and thus, they do maintain a level of power, but thoughts can be shaped if one removes him/herself from being "in it".

We often, when in a state of panic, will believe that the thought or circumstance is our reality, but in fact this is not the case.  At a core level, we are energy, pure love and while events can feel real, devastating or joyous, we can choose to feel calm, at peace and in joy.  This does take practice, is not always perfect.

What really got me thinking of this was my personal challenge of often waking in the middle of the night and especially in the morning with racing thoughts of everything I need to do, starting the day feeling overwhelmed before I've had my morning coffee!  After attending a wonderful conference on genetic testing last weekend, I have better understanding of my brain chemistry and how my neurotransmitters fire rapidly.  Great for the creative proccess and not so great for brain longevity - watch out Linds and Ash, you may have a frazzled mother's brain!

I also am very aware of the conditioning that has also led to this way of being and really do my diligence to use yoga, breath-work, getting out in nature, to help calm this situation.  I remain a work in progress, but have come such a long way.

This inspires me to share these pearls of wisdom with my clients.  So often, I have the privilege of assisting those who are desperate, have seen everyone without success, and now at my doorstep hoping that alternative approaches will make a difference.  I truly believe that motivation can be created with small steps taken in the direction of observing the negative thoughts and by replacing them with positive ones.

Consider trying this in your own life - get comfortable, whether seated or lying down, roll shoulders back and down and begin to breathe deeply, go inward and focus on the breath or visualize a positive image.  Breathe a few times and begin to just passively view and let the thoughts pass by as if watching on a TV screen.  Don't fight with the thoughts, merely let them pass by like flowing water.

In peace,
Julie

Food Fight!

As I reflect on opinions about the perfect or right  diet, often strongly held as fact or the only way, I am brought to recognizing that there is really no one true diet that works for all.  While we may all be human, genetic diversity as well as environmental influences, both helpful and harmful, affect how the body processes and utilizes food.

There are a few common aspects of nutrition, known to be facts that affect everyone adversely – refined carbohydrates in excess and trans fats.  Processing of any food will deteriorate the beneficial qualities of the food in its original nature.

Often when people learn that I am a nutritionist, there is an immediate assumption that I must be vegetarian.  In a laugh, I comment that I am not and that I enjoy my grass-fed red meat.  In fact, given my own personal medical journey with anemia, leukemia and lyme, my blood and bone marrow need good quality flesh protein.  In fact, during my years of experimentation with vegetarian diets, I loved the taste of the food, but my body did not feel well with it.  Later, as I learned to do food sensitivity testing, most of the legumes and soy foods were not my best friends.  Nor is fish!  One asks “What” – fish is the best food.  Not for me.  I am sensitive to many fish and in fact become doubled over with stomach pain and sweats with scallops.

On the other hand, I met with a client not long ago with a history of breast cancer, colon polyps, osteopenia and hyperparathyroidism.  Immediately I felt that a mostly vegetarian diet would benefit her various conditions.  I find it important to listen intently to the opinions that clients bring into the office, to evaluate the labs, to look at family history and of great excitement, is the advance in genetic testing.  I will be trained in greater detail in the upcoming weeks on this fascinating science of genomics. 

I truly believe that using information about our genes and how they express in illness will become the future of medicine.  No longer will “shot in the dark” medicines and treatments be how health is managed.  Targeted treatments utilizing special diets, supplements, stress management and other supportive modalities such as massage and acupuncture, will assist in modulating how genes are expressed – either being turned on or off.  What an exciting time in medicine.  Stay tuned for more!

In health,

Julie

The Passion, Palm Sunday, Spring Equinox and Easter/Resurrection

As the days of Holy week arrived, I began by revisiting my church and community for over 20 years, singing with my group for one of the most moving masses for me - Palm Sunday - which depicts the sequence of events leading up to Jesus' death.  It has always been a meaningful week for me, but as these past few years have unfolded, the meaning has grown in depth and breadth - encompassing less religiosity and more communal thinking about what this time of year symbolizes and what "christ energy" means for me.

It's almost like being in a sci-fi movie.  During the Palm Sunday mass, I am brought back to being with Jesus, feeling his emotional pain, feeling misunderstood, teased and bullied, chastised for speaking out about ways of being that did not make sense to those "in control".  We then move into other energies of the week - the vernal equinox and a full moon - powerful influences on emotions and behaviors.  Spring is a time of re-birth, coming into the light.  It is so interesting to look at other cultures and spiritual traditions and basically all are echoing the same thing - bringing light into the world.  I talk about the rising and falling of emotions with my clients during this week - some more challenged than others with this increasing energy of Spring.

In the christian tradition, Easter marks the time when the resurrection of Jesus occurred and we all have this opportunity to be re-born, to bring forth our fruits, to awaken from the dark of winter.  There is a shift that many of us experience, feeling a bit more aware of the increasing energy around us, yet maybe not quite there in our own energy.  For me, it takes a few weeks to adjust even to the one hour time change!  I also had a migraine for much of the week - not uncommon with these subtle shifts and the insomnia that accompanies the full moon.  I have become so aware of these energetic influences and how they impact my body, and I continue to search for ways to soften the bodily experience of these shifts.

I spent a wonderful day with my family, sharing in prayer, a wonderful meal and to start the day, Lindsay and I went to yoga - a weekly treat to listen to Jaishree and Kalanadi, as they sing for sivasana.  Jaishree so nicely acknowledged all the traditions that celebrate this time of year and the Easter tradition of resurrection.  It felt complete for me - unifying all.  After all, that is what life is about!

Happy Easter and Namaste,
Julie

Spring Cleaning - Oh The Memories

As the Spring approaches, I begin to look at my schedule to block a few days for washing walls, cleaning curtains and oiling the furniture.  It's a real love-hate feeling - thinking of the hours spent - but oh, the outcome is so rewarding - a clean and orderly environment, my living space, a sacred space!

When I heard that Ashley would be coming home 1-2 weeks earlier, I decided to get right on this and to be prepared for this exciting time.  Somehow, the angst felt less this year.  I marked the days, went to the store to pick up the "Olde English" lemon oil, that Mom always used and just got on it.  Starting in Ashley's room, I cranked up Jason Mraz tunes - a musician that she turned me onto.  As I oiled her bookcase, I thought about Babasia, her grandmmother who was so special in our lives.  I then moved onto the little black rocking chair that my Grampy gave to me when I was little.  I used to sit on his lap and he called me "the winner".  I loved my Grampy - he was so kind and gentle.  The last piece of furniture was Mom's sewing machine that she gave to Ashley.  Mom was an amazing seamstress, making many of my clothes and coats, my wedding dress and the girls's christening gowns.  Ashley took up the hobby and often made her own first and last day of school dresses, with a more recent hobby of making rice filled turtles that are used a warm packs for sore muscles.  I left that room being brought back to happy memories and felt a strong connection with Mom.  After all, I assisted her with this task as a young girl and adolescent.

The day passed rather quickly and I enjoyed the process - not something I could have said as much in the past.  Later on as I talked with Lindsay on the phone, she remarked how she had already started her own Spring cleaning.  What a tradition, now passed onto my own girls.

Now is the time to enjoy the longer days, the waking energy and rebirth that Spring brings.
Plant your own seeds of tradition and of rebirth.

With renewed spirit,
Julie

Of Like Minds and Varied Gifts

What an array of talents sat with me on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, sharing in a like-minded concept with such delectable assortment of ideas and supportive advice.  We sat and had food from my Feel Great Look Great series - part of what will be served in this beautiful space.  For years, I have entertained the idea of providing retreat services where people can gather, stay, learn and be immersed into a world of total healing.  The thought began while I was still in undergraduate school studying nutrition and psychology, while also having to learn the A to Z's of food preparation, safety and ambiance.  I dreamed of being in Marblehead offering these services.

Now fast forward 35 plus years and here I sat with with friends and colleagues, both old and new, talking about how to manifest this dream into a reality.  It was an engaging and interesting conversation because what brought us together was the desire to offer healing, rest and beauty in this beautiful ocean town, yet each has expertise in different disciplines - finance, non-profit startup, mental health, marketing, coaching, music - all areas that need addressing in order to create a viable business.

As the ideas rolled, my brain swelled with not only information, but a twinge of "Oh my God" what, how, can I - and quickly one of my dear friends said, "We're gonna process this after the meeting".  I felt a sigh of relief and yet also acknowledged that my degree of what, how and can I, has dampened so much over these past few years because I "work on my stuff"  all the time.  Not only do I preach seeing oneself as healthy, healed, whole, doing what one loves and being where one wants to be, BUT, I remind myself of this daily and often multiple times daily when the old tapes of not being good enough, not knowing enough, not deserving to have, come into my conscious awareness.

These are such common themes and they erode the greatness that we all possess, keeping us humans powerless instead of powerful.  However, there was great power in my living room - a common focus, all contributing - and for this, I am grateful.

To be continued . . .

Softening

What thoughts come to mind when you hear the word softening?  Weakness?  Giving in?   Or rather being open to?  Less rigid?

For me, this word kept coming into my conscious awareness while in yoga, while talking with my Dad, while listening to my clients.  In yoga class, I often start out very tight and in a good deal of bodily discomfort.  I usually try to arrive 10-15 minutes early in order to lay on the blocks in order to open the chest and diaphragm area.  This begins my practice in a receptive mode, allowing me to soften into the positions during my hour class.  I really focused on the word and allowed it to gently command and guide my body as it became less rigid.

The theme continued as I entertained a new way of looking at my Dad's living situation.  He is 1 1/2-2 hours away from me, remains very independent, but is having challenges with his memory.  I accompany him on his doctor visits and during this past visit, we also met with the bank, the pharmacy and went to the supermarket in order for me to show him some healthier versions of frozen dinners.  Dad has never been a cook and tends to be a meat and potatoes guy, along with his PB&J sandwiches.  Of course, there are plenty of cookies and candy - very much the nutritionist's nightmare!  At each spot along the way, people recognized him, talked and joked with him and told me how much they enjoy seeing my Dad.

I left this visit with a very different perspective than I have held for the past few years.  While he has been saying that he will get the house ready to go on the market and move closer to me, when confronted, he opts out.  What I realized in my day with him is that I cannot control my Dad's future, even if with good intent.  Of course, I am concerned about safety, medical and all that goes along with having an elderly parent, but I also want my Dad to be in surroundings that are familiar and comfortable for him.  This shift was a definite softening of my thought process and it has felt good all week.

In the third situation with regard to clients, I observed how much I am on top of everything, researching, seeking solutions, wanting to provide healing in cases that seem so challenging.  I can easily lose sight that I am the messenger, but am not in control of the outcome, and when this happens, I take far too much responsibility for others - a lifelong theme.  I kept coming back to this concept of softening and was able to shift to a place of allowing and sharing more.  This, too, felt good.

After all, isn't it about feeling good?  When we feel good, positive energy radiates into the world.  I leave you with this thought for the week - what word will keep you engaged in your journey?

With peace and softness,
Julie