Sunday, March 5, 2017

Illness: Mind and Body

As I write this entry and article, I am choosing to look at not only the endemic aspects that pervade our society, but the intimate challenges of facing mental health challenges within my own family.
Upon doing my own “work” over the years, I have learned that I was born a very sensitive being, one who absorbed much of the negative energy that surrounded me within my family system.  At a young age, I learned to read others’ feelings and actions quite well and would do anything to gain safety and approval.

While there is the “blessing” in this, as coined in the Ennaegram (an ancient way of looking at personality), there is also the “liability”, in that I was emotionally unprotected, learning how to survive at a very early age.  This story will ring true for many.

As a result, I attracted needy people into my life, knowing how to care for them, helping them to feel loved, supported and able to function.  There was an aunt with bipolar who often stayed with us and I loved her, connected with her and became one of her caretakers later in life.  I went on to marry two brilliant and charismatic men with similar tendencies, my second husband tragically dying from a brain injury.  As I’ve continued my self-discovery, I see the lineage in my father and some of his family.

Interestingly, I am now faced with my younger daughter experiencing a major life crisis at age 21 – not an uncommon time for self-reflection, fear of the future, wondering “who I am” and “what am I meant to do” – the big existential questions.  I have taken on this challenge that she faces coming from a very different place this time.  There is no fear, no anger, no resentment, but instead, a deep compassion and desire to really assist her in working the mind-body-spirit components.

Given who I am personally and professionally (I often state that they are rolled into one with no separation between my personal and professional self), I have sought out professionals who view life with a wider lens, taking the best of each discipline and allowing the suggestions to sift, with those revealing themselves that “feel” right.

Our path has been to use traditional therapy, extensive labs (I am awaiting the full genome results), shamanic clearing, mind-body therapies such as yoga and meditation, medications, supplements and psychoanalysis.  None of these broader approaches and long-term programs are insurance covered.  Looking at some of the labs, there is a significant vitamin D deficiency, a snp (single nucleotide polymorphism or gene abnormality) in MTHFR – these can lead to significant depression in some. 
Backing up a bit, my daughter was born into chaos – a Dad who was ill and died when she was four years old, multiple moves due to financial distress, my illness and disability with a move to a new community followed by my hospitalization for many months.  We needed to move from our last community where we had a very strong connection to our faith community for financial reasons.  We have had occasional visits back to sing and be part of this congregation, a place that I often referred to as my second home! 

My daughter has also experienced minor neurological challenges over the years that improved dramatically with high dose fish oils, probiotics and a special diet used upon food sensitivity testing. 
Bringing together the elements to create the perfect storm, our family is yet again faced with an “opportunity”, one that I know will be a healing one, wrought with pain on all levels, yet one that can bring about healing for others when the time is revealed.

I continue each day to feel blessed for the many gifts – supportive friends and family, life lessons that I choose to see as opportunities, my convoluted education (traditional dietetics, functional medicine, counseling and psychology, yoga, reiki), my unending desire to learn more about myself and others – and the list could go on.   I thank my spiritual mentors from a variety of traditions and for me, Jesus, is an example of how I want to live life.  I grew up learning about him and while I draw upon other spiritual traditions, I know his examples best.  I also find yoga to be an essential, grounding force in my life.

May you explore with an open heart and curiosity, the many lessons that life brings.

With love and blessings,

Julie

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