What an interesting few weeks it has been, although that seems to be how my life goes - never a dull moment! For the past fifteen years since my husband passed away, I was advised to purchase my own disability policy since I was a single mom, a self-employed person and did not have support coming in to assist with raising my girls.
While I never suspected to become ill - after all, I had abundant energy, rarely got sick, did all the "right things", so to speak - the reality was that I was not invincible and I sure had a lot to learn about balance and self-love. I did become ill and I did need to use partial disability for the past two years.
My policy ended on March 1, thus the buffer that has helped me to stay afloat is now gone. Given that I was out of work for most of the summer and early Fall, I requested a short extension of about six months, only to find that it is not possible unless I am fully disabled. Not only am I not fully disabled, but I remained very involved in my "lifework" as I call it - my call to service of my clients and continued learning about mind-body-spirit healing for self and others.
Thankfully, I am very immersed in the process of positive manifestation. The seeds were planted when I went to Germany for alternative cancer treatment, were again brought up with my lyme treatment and once again with my spiritual coach of present. He keeps me in my integrity by emphasizing, supporting and gently mandating that I MUST meditate morning, noon and night.
For me, quieting the mind has been oh so challenging. Not only does my mind tend to have a constant chatter, but it can really rev up the anxiety level with the "shoulds", "hows", "whens" and any other word that brings one away from being present.
I have a daily list of powerful phrases to repeat over and over and I have been calm through this transition. Every day I am visualizing my ideal life, seeing the components of what this looks like, and every day I am reaching out to network with like-minded folks about health, wellness, food, skincare. I know that I am manifesting my dreams, but what I don't know is how they will show up and exactly when.
The catch here is interesting and funny - an ahha moment for me. Being a Virgo, I am so much my sun sign and often laugh about how uncanny it is that I embody each of the qualities - the positive and the not so! Virgos are analytical, driven, critical-especially of self, concrete and rigid. There are wonderful qualities too, but for this writing, the descriptives aforementioned have more meaning.
What I've learned over this period of time is to visualize with all the details and then trust that it has been heard and will manifest. In religion, the discussion is about trusting in God and in other spiritual traditions, it is about trusting spirit or the higher intelligence. The idea is to lose fear, to not get caught up in the details, but to state one's desires and let it go.
While I have learned from many years of financial challenges is that I have always survived, have always been taken care of and I know how to be resourceful. I am not afraid and after the first few days of knowing the reality of a buffer being gone, I have entertained many calls and emails from networking that was started before the holidays. Many folks are quite interested in what I am doing and want to partner in some capacity. Isn't it interesting how prayer is answered. While still not quite there, the process is unfolding and life is still abundant and exciting.
My wish for you is to create - let your mind fantasize about your true desires - your purpose in this life to live, love, give back, and to then send it out into the world, knowing full well that your wishes are answered, not as you might expect, but as you need.
Fearlessly,
Julie
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