Music, Me and A Content Grateful Heart

About two weeks ago, I posted "Untouchable and Fake" and this blog was about my connection and confusion about music in my life. It was a painful process, but such a cleansing one at the same time. Last evening, I was invited to sing with my old group at St. John's, my former parish. I was so excited to be singing with my friends, to see my pastor and pastoral associate, both of whom have been tremendous and non-judgmental support to me and my girls for many years. Just a week ago, my former music director asked if I would lead the practice, as he was directing a musical in another town and would be running late. I laughed and said "sure", but you know it's been almost two years and my guitar "chops" are rusty, not to say my singing voice! We laughed and I made the commitment. As I thought about it, I felt like this would be fun and I have my professional musician buddy, one of my best friends, who would carry the guitar parts while hiding my less than professional sound, set up the sound system etc. No sweat! A few days later, we learned that he had a gig scheduled unexpectedly and would not be there. Wow - was this "opportunity/challenge" placed in my lap at the right time. Do I revert to perfectionistic tendencies, getting anxious about how it would work out OR would I take this as time to have fun, time to play and pray? I chose the latter and pulled out my music, guitar and started to play and sing. Surprisingly, it didn't sound bad at all. In fact, I was impressed that I picked up where I left off pretty well and was enjoying my practice time each day. To back up a bit, a few weeks back, I decided to join the Festival Chorus here in Marblehead - a group that performs during the holiday season. No try-outs, just come as you are. I thought the chorus would be easy, but the director had us singing in Latin, French and German, at tempo, on the first night! So while not easy, I am having a blast trying to learn these "wicked fast" scales! On Saturday, after finishing with clients for the day, I had a guitar in one hand and Bach in the other! Sunday arrived and I met my friends at church. We practiced, worked out a few kinks and got ready for mass. I was not anxious, I was not judging how this was going to be and I was having a blast. One of the songs that I requested to sing was Grateful and this song has such special meaning to me because I am grateful for the many blessings in my life - one of which is music! Just for today, play your favorite tune on the radio, I-Tunes, your I-Pod - just do it and see how you feel! Julie