The Migraine, the Dragon Fly and the Ah-ha

Ever since I can remember, I have been the social gathering person - for family, for church, for community, for work - you name it and I am there to organize and produce. With excitement and a bit of trepidation, I chose to gather family on July 4 this year. I was excited to show them our new home, to have family from near and afar gather with joy. As the day drew near, we were threatened with the hurricane that ended being a huge downpour, but nonetheless, and inside cookout rather than outside. It was truly fun to see everyone and yet, as the day progressed, I felt less and less well. Leading up to the day, my own energy and treatment symptoms have continued to wax and wane with some unpredictability - some days I feel great and others, I drag by. I have also entered a new phase of treatment with oxygen therapy, so who knows what to expect. For me, I can still want to be who I was and not who I am, whether that is temporary or long-standing. Hmm - a continual lesson to learn. Who am I NOW - not was I nor who will I be!!! The following day was one of complete exhaustion and a looming migraine. I enjoyed the company of family for a while and then later on, tidied up, walked and cycled a bit, listened to the band at the park and had an early evening. It felt good to slow my pace, to listen to what I needed and to be in nature - hearing the birds, seeing the ocean, feeling the warmth of the sun. When I went upstairs to my room, I noticed a dragon fly on my window screen. Having read Ted Andrews books on shamanic meaning and animal spirit guides, I took this as a sign and looked up dragon fly. Much to my interest, the dragon fly is about a time of transformation, a time of new and unknown occurrences. Was this telling or what. I had started down the trail of guilt and frustration, not being the dependable gatherer of all, but what I began to realize is that my life IS taking new shape - an exciting one at that! I love my life, I love what I do, I love where I am. Now, I will continue to set a new pace and choose those activities that keep me moving in the direction of the compass of my soul. With gratefulness, Julie