It is day after a long musical adventure with my dear friends and esteemed musicians. It is also the beginning of Holy Week, a reflection of the last days of Jesus' last days on earth, a week that has held much meaning for me for many years.
While being raised traditionally catholic and ministering in the church as a cantor (yes, catholics use cantors as well as does jewish tradition to support sung prayer within the community gathering), I have been following a more eclectic route these past few years. I do not denounce my religion, but am more drawn to the spiritual essence that each has to offer and I love spiritual music of all genres.
Yesterday was especially meaningful for a variety of reasons - I feel very connected to Jesus' purpose in his life on Palm Sunday, I love the music that we sing, my Dad and daughter Lindsay there to participate in Mass (my Mom and Dad would always come to hear us on Palm Sunday, supporting me and the girls as we participated in singing), I was at my former church which I often referred to as my second home AND the homily that Fr Hehir presented was so rich and thought-provoking as always.
St John's has been a very cutting edge parish for many years - always embracing all faith communities, supporting the process of exposing the priest scandal and not hiding behind power and authority - a theme as you know from many of my blogs that is near and dear to my heart!
As we sang, I felt that connection of being one with the universe - that feeling that Jesus talked about, as well as my meditation mentor - to not only visualize our human connection with others and all of earth's living organisms, but to feel it in the heart. Music can do this for me and I have been told that I bring this to others.
I am finally able to accept this gift of voice - knowing that I have a voice that connects me to others - and I am able to shake off the critical voice in the back of my mind that tells me "You'll never be good enough". Profound movement in self-acceptance.
When mass was over, we had dinner in the social hall - all organic, nurturing food, and then proceeded upstairs to record some songs that I hold close to my heart. While not easy to choose just a few, it is a start and a dream that I have had for years. My dear talented musician friends took time out of their busy schedules to make this happen and for that I am so grateful - same as the title of one of our songs - Grateful!
It was a long evening, but so fun and what made it so fun is that my close friends were with me doing what we love, the music had such meaning and purpose AND I was not judging if it would be perfect. Technically, it will not be because we were in a church and not a studio, BUT, on that spiritual level, indeed perfect.
My hope for you all during this time of Spring and holy seasons within a few traditions, is that you begin to shake off the perfectionism, listen to some music that heals your soul and as you look into the eyes of another, know that we are all one.
Blessings,
Julie
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