Music and The Report Card

This has been an interesting few days. On the one hand, I am anticipating my doctor visits on Monday when I have labs drawn to see how my white and red blood counts will be,along with other standard tests. Since my move to Marblehead two months ago, I feel that I have been gaining strength and have experienced more days in between of good energy, fewer stomach issues and an overall sense of well-being. This has been exciting for me because it will two years in July when I was handed the diagnosis of hairy cell leukemia and a confirmation diagnosis of chronic lyme late September of last year. I've had a few other times when I really thought my labs would improve, but they have remained stubbornly low. As I pondered the upcoming labs, I realized that I have begun to treat these labs as a report card, giving these numbers far too much importance in the big picture. I am seeing other results of wellness coming to me and yet, I have some angst about the results. I decided to call a close friend today who lives in the "alternative world" of healing as well. He was able to help me reconfirm that healing is part of a total package and that our society has bought into the paradigm that if there is a malfunction, it must be blasted or cut out. I just needed to hear my own words echoing from someone else and was able to calm down, putting this piece into perspective. Just before calling him, I was on my way to yoga training, the second to last weekend before graduation. Typically on my hour plus drive, I will sing my spiritual songs, many of which I used to cantor at church. I still love this music, finding the words to offer peace, gratitude and love to me. For the first time in a few years, I vocally blasted one of the songs that required a lot of diaphragmatic breathing, then came into the next song with solid breath as well. Needless to say, I was ecstatic. This was a sign that my oxygen levels are improving. For the past few years, I often would become a bit dizzy when breathing for singing. A few times, I needed to hold onto the music stand briefly in order to feel strong. Today, there was a shift! I find it interesting that these two events have coincided for me, coming to a head this morning. Following my conversation with my friend, I spent a day learning about and practicing restorative yoga - what a fine finish to the ebb and flow of daily life. I feel centered, strong, ready to receive information from all aspects of my being - the physical, emotional and spiritual. With peace and love to you all, Julie