It is 2 days since having surgery and I've already walked the lake with Tammie, looking peacefully at the blue sky and vibrant green trees. While surgery went well, the ego blow was learning that my cancer markers have worsened over the past 2 months. Hmm - what can I learn from this.
When I revised my website 2 years ago, I had all intentions of becoming an online expert, creating interactive communication and learning for my clients. Shortly thereafter, I began to feel more and more poorly, going down the path of auto-immune disease and chronic lyme, only to be surprised by the diagnosis of hairy cell leukemia, a rare, but generally slow growing cancer. I chose to face this head on without fear, but with curiosity and also decided against chemotherapy for the time being, as the drugs have potentially more lethal side effects.
My journey is now one year long and it has been quite an adventure. I withdrew retirement funds in order to attend a program in
Germany that focused on diet, meditation and inner exploration, along with detoxification. for many months I felt much better, but this past month was challenging - a cervical polyp that needed removal in the hospital due to the low platelets associated with the hairy cell; significant stomach distress resulting in an upcoming colonoscopy and endoscopy and major dental work to be done, again, possibly associated with the hairy cell. Wow, what a month - I need to check to see if I am really 55 or 85!
I met with my coach - my work coach, life coach, stress coach - not sure what I'd do without her! She instructed me on an autohypnosis program in order to use less anesthesia. I was more concerned about the poisons being introduced than the actual surgery. For 2 weeks prior to surgery, I used the Peggy Huddleston Prepare For Surgery approach and came prepared to the Brigham and Women's Hospital with IPod, instructions for the anesthesiology team for me to have reiki and very little medication.
I was awake during my surgery, spoke often with my doctors and came home feeling awake and quite hungry!
As I reflect on these past 2 days, I am alert, have very little pain and feel grateful for being alive and well. I realize that part of my learning about my cancer is that I have been working too much without the balance. In Germany, we were expected to be outdoors for 20 minutes following each meal. I know that balance is the key to thriving and being in nature offers that balance. Never underestimate the power of it!
With peace and love for all,
Julie
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