Well, since I could not decide between the two and actually see an association between them, I decided to elongate the title!
As Monday approached, I had "the migraine", a pretty chronic issue since my late teens. I've tried the conventional approaches, as well as many alternative ones, and at least now I am able to go without medications, yet still have these long duration headaches that can last from 3 to 5 days.
I've been asked to track my menstrual cycles for years to see if there is a correlation and while there has been, often there are migraines in the middle as well or that seem to have no rhyme or reason - at least on the "earthly plane".
As I approached this migraine, I was able to step aside and recognize that this is not me, that this discomfort will, indeed pass and that it is not necessarily something I did wrong. While uncomfortable, I did get through my week, knowing that my intention is no longer to just get through, but to thrive and feel fully alive.
Accompanying this week was also the dreaded progesterone week! I speak openly about my experiences because this truly is about sharing for the healing of myself and others. I've had hormonal issues since the age of nine. I have followed in my mother's and maternal side of the family's footsteps with dysmenorrhea, amenorrhea, infertility, endometriosis, pituitary insufficiency and late miscarriage. As I look at my history, I likely had PCOS as well, but it wasn't even talked about in my day. As an early teen, I was poked, probed, put on strong hormones that really messed with my weight, mood and cognition. I was hospitalized at age fifteen for a D&C - being unable to recall how I felt, but remembering that my Dad would not talk to me for weeks.
Sexuality was not discussed in my home - not even the word pregnant was allowed. Sex was considered "dirty", "bad" - and there was a lot of confusion for me having female issues and not understanding what was wrong with me.
As I've said so many times before in my blogs, this is not about name and blame, but really digging deep into my conscious, sub-conscious and overarching meanings for me/others.
This week was different. I recognized how much influence the hormonal regimen has on how I feel physically and emotionally. My endocrinologist has been brilliant in assisting me with a regimen that allows me to function, yet there is a missing piece. I contacted one of my treatment team who specializes in essential oils because between her and my acupuncturist, I have been feeling better with the addition of oils. As she reviewed my history again, going back in time, she suggested progesterone resistance and bingo, it all fell into place. My years of symptoms fit this description exactly. The cell receptors need cleansing, a "tuning up", in order for the medical support to do its work.
What is even more important, is that while feeling the emotional roller coaster of PMS (the moodiness, fatigue, bloating etc), combined with a migraine, I was able to not be in it, but rather observe it. I am not the angry person, the paranoid person - these are aspects that I can feel when the hormones are not balanced.
I talk about this very challenge with countless patients and have been on the cutting edge of diagnosing PCOS for others long before it was "in vogue". I am able to see personal challenge as gift for others and that does not mean in any way that I do not want continued healing in my life. I truly do and have come a long way in this process.
This month, as I work on tuning up cell receptors, I feel excited to put more of the pieces of the puzzle together - healing the physical, understanding and healing the emotional binds that have been in my family for a long time, and evolving in my spiritual understanding for me and all who come in contact with me.
My fertility on all levels be in your life,
Julie
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