Back to back days of yoga presented with these two powerful themes - being open and learning to trust. This was an important part of the sequence of coming out of that dark place - one that was necessary for the next lesson - and being able to enter a new phase, albeit unknown.
A few of my blog followers reached out with compassion and love and I very much thank you for that - especially because I did not sense fear in your words, but a true loving way of reaching out with compassion. This response continues to fuel my passion for being authentic in my reflections and sharing, so that we all may be blessed and grow from both the dark and the light.
Immediately what comes to mind from my own spiritual upbringing is Jesus being laid in the tomb for three days before rising into the light. As I've grown in my own philosophical understanding, I take the meanings of the stories passed down for centuries in a less literal way. Neville Goddard, a writer on mysticism, christianity and God, used references from the bible to explain complex concepts in a simpler way - a way for the new age of spirituality to make sense as we evolve.
When I shared birthing my heart, I was beginning to understand on a very mind-body-spirit level how these aspects of oneself tell a unique story of our purpose and journey and these hints provide opportunities to create something very different for ourselves.
For me it became more clear that this period of physical and emotional challenge provided me with opportunities to set limits - to state "enough is enough" - and to proclaim that "I do want to be taken care of and that my heart yearns for this, yet is afraid".
It is easy to stay stuck in old ways of being, creating chronic cycles of physical and emotional pain, without even knowing that this is the pattern. It is much more difficult to look out at a clean slate and ask, "now what"?
As I entered this phase of being open, I began to feel alive and my digestion has been positively affected as well. While I know that my physical path continues to have challenges that will take time to heal, I KNOW that all is well, even on the dark days.
Trust was the next powerful message that came to me the following day. This refers to trust in myself, as well as others. Old programming, societal messages, fear-filled families of origin, often keep us in a place where learning to develop and listen to our own inner knowing is not supported. And I grew up in this place, as well as so many of the wonderful lives that I touch on a daily basis. It became clear to me that the gifts I give to others are often clear messages of what I need to do for me.
I can talk about my past weight and compulsive eating or my intimate relationships as examples of where I did not listen to quiet inner voice, but it is time now to thank those lessons and move into a place and time when I truly honor my inner knowing and the power that I possess as a person, clinician, family member and friend.
As I came to a close for the week, I met with a psychologist who is also trained in astrology, and we talked about these themes. It is so much more clear for me why and when I face these challenges, but what was more helpful was how to circumvent them from fully manifesting. When I speak with my eating disordered clients, I use the phrase," when ED is knocking on the door, stop and ask yourself, this is interesting, what is really going on and what is out of balance?" Become the outside "observer" for yourself, not getting caught up in the judgement, and truly listen to your inner voice - that tiny, but powerful voice.
With Love and Compassion,
Julie
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